PLEASE READ THESE TERMS:Y Tuesday, July 27, 2004Y
2:14 pm
She saw ...she saw....she saw....see saw....huh?? she saw....she caved in.....yep folks, finally settled in for a $49.99 fancy 2000W Remington Big Shot Professional hmmm whaddaya call it??..hair dryer??...I dunno if its money well spent...this contraption is bloody big weiii...and it comes with something called a "diffuser" which has serious big ass finger-like projections. Honestly, everything is BIG about this thing!...I just hope the hair doesnt end up big & billowy as Nanny Fine's...Anyways...just a "treat"..for the impending b'day...yes, its sad...since when do fashionistas buy hairdryers as birthday prezzies fer themselves?? Yup yup...the reason for this (impulse??) buy is that have been feeling mighty low recently, and it has least to do with the state of my follicles!!
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Its more like the state of mah 4 chambered organ (umm..its called a heart for the uninitiated)...Hanging precariously as am having yet another unfounded crisis..the story of my life!!! I'm beginning to wonder if all this is really worth it...love, life, trust..whatever....sometimes, love just hurts u so goddamn badly....its so difficult to rationalize with someone who just cant see (or refuses to see) the truth. I'm beginning to wonder if I've made the correct choices..for the first time in my life, I can clearly see that maybe the present status quo is not going to work out. You love a person with ur all...and then this. The same person whom u think understands wot makes u tick after all these years- u would think they know u and then they just take u by complete shock by the wild accusations and can still doubt u (and worse still just break ur spirit with such hurting comments)...I dont need this. I feel as if I'm suffocating and am held hostage...the sooner I break free the better.
I guess I have to eat humble pie ... ..at this donkey kong years I'm still shamelessly dependent on my folks and I reckon I hafta start picking up the pieces somewhere. ..
I dunno if I'll ever recover from this...at this stage I doubt that.
I hardly ever wear my feelings on my sleeve ..hence everyone is totally oblivious to the inner turmoil that is haunting me.
My birthday wish?? Simple.........**Peace of mind**
I've not had complete peace of mind since I was 4 yrs old and I spilt orange juice in the porch..yeah, that still haunts me.....
