PLEASE READ THESE TERMS:Y Monday, October 18, 2004Y
3:36 am
In a contemplative mood. Had an illuminating conversation that may change a lotta things for this old dragon. Its difficult to keep up a brave face when ur an avalanche of uncertainties inside. But somehow, I do it...
When did it start becoming so wrong? I keep playing memories like an old movie in my mind....searching, analyzing...WHen did the festering rot set in? How did youthful exuberance give way to a cold, hard, icy edge? Why? Where?
In this judgemental unforgiving world, is it possible to pick up the pieces? Are there any pieces to pick up? Or is it just too mangled beyond description? Like a lump of nothingness.
Anger.
Hate.
Fury.
These are infinitely better than "dont give a damn". Again, nothingness.
Anything is better than nothingness..emptiness goddammit.
Have we drifted too far apart that it is just impossible to say.."to hell with the past, I just want this with u now, and nothing else matters"
I am too tired to fight this feelings. I have resigned to the fact that life is indeed a bitch for some of us, and no amount of sincerity will be able to exorcise the demons.
Did we rush where angels fear to tread?
